I don't understand your script, but what I DO understand is that you have a clear idea of what you want! Your images are evocative, and if you can pull of (as Patricia says) "Visual Poetry" I think you will bring a lot of interest with your film.
Interesting. The images you presented were fairly similar to the ones I was thinking of when I read your script for the first time. That goes for sound as well. You obviously have a clear, set idea as to what you want and I think you're going in the right direction. That Modern Times video was a gem! It reminds me that i've been meaning to recommend you a film but i've been so busy that I forget. I recommended it to Jason as well, but I think you'll find it more consistent with your film. It's a short anime film called Magnetic Rose from the Memories collection by Otomo Katsuhiro, director of Akira. I think and hope you'll find it of great use. I think you'll find the "Modern Victorian" reference quite inspirational. Here are some short clips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mR3Nu-rX868&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zw_Bqg0RUw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AO962Mdks0&feature=related
Overall, I think you're unto a very interesting and challenging project. I think you have talent beyond your years and I can't wait to see this!
Script I decided to reread your script as a refresher and I don't know how I didn't get it or understand everything the first time around. It made a lot more sense to me for whatever reason and I like that you didn't change anything in this cycle because it really doesn't need changing. It had a flow and rhythm to it that doesn't need to messed with especially because it makes sense in combination with your journal.
Journal Everyone pretty much covered it…you know what you want your film to look, feel and sound like and that's, again, reflected in both your script and the journal. I think it'll be a challenging project but as Jesus said your talented enough to pull it off. Good Luck and I can't wait to see your first cut!
I think your notes on the visual design of your film are very interesting. You have an interesting clash of actual moonscapes and terraformed moonscapes that really seems to work for a sci-fi script such as this. If we were going to colonize the moon, terraforming would definitely come into play and it's interesting to think about how that would look and how much of that is going to be addressed in your film overall. Are we only going to know it's the moon because we see it orbiting Earth? That's an interesting idea. Obviously, looking at your journal and the costume design being a space suit, it's safe to say that the moon isn't fully terraformed and wouldn't have a complete atmosphere.
Looking at your script again... I still don't understand exactly what's going on. But that's okay, because it's more than evident that YOU understand what's going on, and at the end of the day, it's important that you and the main people helping you make your capstone understand it, and I think you won't have a problem with that. You're good at communicating your ideas when it comes to actually explaining them, so I don't think you need to worry about it. As little as I understand the project, I'm very interested in seeing it come together. Looking forward to it.
I think that you are definitely on the right track.
I like where your script is at personally. With the additions to your journal I think you have added some interesting images that will really help blend your visuals with the vision in your head. I love the use of depth of field to give the eyes a lot to look at. It helps with the idea your film is trying to portray and the use of contrast really helps bring something visually appealing.
If you can get a reference point of out of the images and somewhere near what you want onto the screen, you will really have something great on your hands. I think that your journal gives some interesting insight into the vision you've got especially in the notes for cinematography.
I would say, like everyone else, I think you are on the right track toward a strong piece. I don't have many comments, as you have been pretty thorough, but I do have a few.
First of all, I was a little thrown by your cinematography section. While it is clear that you have thought about this quite a bit, your different references don't really seem to match to me. Modeling different aspects of cinematography after Black Swan, The King's Speech, Runaway, and The Tree of Life is ambitious, but it also doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. All of these are great pieces for different reasons, but it seems like you just picked four cool films and picked out what you like from each. This leads me to my other point. You don't really say why narratively these films makes sense to inspire yours. What about the color in Runaway would work well with the emotions you are trying to portray? You did a great job picking well-shot films, but what I don't understand is the narrative/thematic/emotional correlation between these four different pieces and yours.
I don't mean this to be discouraging. I just wanted to give you something to think about. Again, like everyone has been saying, you are in a great place with this, and I hope you can nail it.
I really like the moral of your story: Life is not meant to be lived alone. I think if audiences can understand that through your film, it will be great! I think having perfect symmetry will help out your film a lot create the world you want to create. A DEEP depth of field will help that a lot and if done correctly will look completely awesome! I like the moon set for production design and I like the color matching as well with the different scene. Journal is awesome man and really well thought out! Great work!
I like your puzzle of a story a lot. I really like the vast gorgeous landscapes you'd like to use to portray his solitude and psychological unraveling. The story is so engaging and unique I don't think comparisons to other space themed films is really an issue. After all, space is the largest unexplored frontier we have.
Be careful with low contrast on the desaturated moments, you risk a pale image. Just don't over do it, I know you won't. Contrast is huge for b&w and low saturation. I understand what your going for with the slightly hazy milky look, the reference images are fantastic.
Can't wait to see this one come together.
Side note:
Here's a relavant moment from one of my favorite films.
I liked your script the first time around, so I'm not going to rehash a lot of the details about it. When I read it the first time I thought it was apparent that you had a vision that you were going to try and achieve. Your journal helps give everyone more visualization, but I can see that you are on the right track and that what I had envisioned for your film is what you are seeing as well. I'm just glad that someone finally wants to shoot at an f22! Finally, someone has heard my cries for deep depth of field. I think that by using this technique you are going to enhance your story and the feeling of isolation in your story. I'm excited to see what Taurean does with this.
There are no changes to my script, so D1 is the most recent version.
ReplyDeleteTy,
ReplyDeleteI don't understand your script, but what I DO understand is that you have a clear idea of what you want! Your images are evocative, and if you can pull of (as Patricia says) "Visual Poetry" I think you will bring a lot of interest with your film.
Let me know when you are filming so I can help!!!
Interesting. The images you presented were fairly similar to the ones I was thinking of when I read your script for the first time. That goes for sound as well. You obviously have a clear, set idea as to what you want and I think you're going in the right direction. That Modern Times video was a gem! It reminds me that i've been meaning to recommend you a film but i've been so busy that I forget. I recommended it to Jason as well, but I think you'll find it more consistent with your film. It's a short anime film called Magnetic Rose from the Memories collection by Otomo Katsuhiro, director of Akira. I think and hope you'll find it of great use. I think you'll find the "Modern Victorian" reference quite inspirational. Here are some short
ReplyDeleteclips:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mR3Nu-rX868&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zw_Bqg0RUw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AO962Mdks0&feature=related
Overall, I think you're unto a very interesting and challenging project. I think you have talent beyond your years and I can't wait to see this!
Script
ReplyDeleteI decided to reread your script as a refresher and I don't know how I didn't get it or understand everything the first time around. It made a lot more sense to me for whatever reason and I like that you didn't change anything in this cycle because it really doesn't need changing. It had a flow and rhythm to it that doesn't need to messed with especially because it makes sense in combination with your journal.
Journal
Everyone pretty much covered it…you know what you want your film to look, feel and sound like and that's, again, reflected in both your script and the journal. I think it'll be a challenging project but as Jesus said your talented enough to pull it off. Good Luck and I can't wait to see your first cut!
Hey Ty,
ReplyDeleteI think your notes on the visual design of your film are very interesting. You have an interesting clash of actual moonscapes and terraformed moonscapes that really seems to work for a sci-fi script such as this. If we were going to colonize the moon, terraforming would definitely come into play and it's interesting to think about how that would look and how much of that is going to be addressed in your film overall. Are we only going to know it's the moon because we see it orbiting Earth? That's an interesting idea. Obviously, looking at your journal and the costume design being a space suit, it's safe to say that the moon isn't fully terraformed and wouldn't have a complete atmosphere.
Looking at your script again... I still don't understand exactly what's going on. But that's okay, because it's more than evident that YOU understand what's going on, and at the end of the day, it's important that you and the main people helping you make your capstone understand it, and I think you won't have a problem with that. You're good at communicating your ideas when it comes to actually explaining them, so I don't think you need to worry about it. As little as I understand the project, I'm very interested in seeing it come together. Looking forward to it.
Ty,
ReplyDeleteI think that you are definitely on the right track.
I like where your script is at personally. With the additions to your journal I think you have added some interesting images that will really help blend your visuals with the vision in your head. I love the use of depth of field to give the eyes a lot to look at. It helps with the idea your film is trying to portray and the use of contrast really helps bring something visually appealing.
If you can get a reference point of out of the images and somewhere near what you want onto the screen, you will really have something great on your hands. I think that your journal gives some interesting insight into the vision you've got especially in the notes for cinematography.
Look forward to what you've got next man.
I would say, like everyone else, I think you are on the right track toward a strong piece. I don't have many comments, as you have been pretty thorough, but I do have a few.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I was a little thrown by your cinematography section. While it is clear that you have thought about this quite a bit, your different references don't really seem to match to me. Modeling different aspects of cinematography after Black Swan, The King's Speech, Runaway, and The Tree of Life is ambitious, but it also doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. All of these are great pieces for different reasons, but it seems like you just picked four cool films and picked out what you like from each. This leads me to my other point. You don't really say why narratively these films makes sense to inspire yours. What about the color in Runaway would work well with the emotions you are trying to portray? You did a great job picking well-shot films, but what I don't understand is the narrative/thematic/emotional correlation between these four different pieces and yours.
I don't mean this to be discouraging. I just wanted to give you something to think about. Again, like everyone has been saying, you are in a great place with this, and I hope you can nail it.
I really like the moral of your story: Life is not meant to be lived alone. I think if audiences can understand that through your film, it will be great! I think having perfect symmetry will help out your film a lot create the world you want to create. A DEEP depth of field will help that a lot and if done correctly will look completely awesome! I like the moon set for production design and I like the color matching as well with the different scene. Journal is awesome man and really well thought out! Great work!
ReplyDeleteI like your puzzle of a story a lot. I really like the vast gorgeous landscapes you'd like to use to portray his solitude and psychological unraveling. The story is so engaging and unique I don't think comparisons to other space themed films is really an issue. After all, space is the largest unexplored frontier we have.
ReplyDeleteBe careful with low contrast on the desaturated moments, you risk a pale image. Just don't over do it, I know you won't. Contrast is huge for b&w and low saturation. I understand what your going for with the slightly hazy milky look, the reference images are fantastic.
Can't wait to see this one come together.
Side note:
Here's a relavant moment from one of my favorite films.
The Man Who Wasn't There
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE4Cv1KwaiM
Ty,
ReplyDeleteI liked your script the first time around, so I'm not going to rehash a lot of the details about it. When I read it the first time I thought it was apparent that you had a vision that you were going to try and achieve. Your journal helps give everyone more visualization, but I can see that you are on the right track and that what I had envisioned for your film is what you are seeing as well. I'm just glad that someone finally wants to shoot at an f22! Finally, someone has heard my cries for deep depth of field. I think that by using this technique you are going to enhance your story and the feeling of isolation in your story. I'm excited to see what Taurean does with this.
Roger